I consider myself a pretty positive person, usually with a smile on my face and willing to look on the bright side of things. BUT this two week wait certainly challenges that outlook. I have been wanting to write about my daily “symptoms”, but have been putting it off because they are so similar to my previous cycles that have all resulted in a negative outcome.
Here’s the breakdown:
4dp3dt- Nothing other than bloating and gas and sore breasts
5dp3dt- some cramping, sore breasts, night sweats, and EMOTIONAL; I can’t stop crying, when getting out of bed in the morning I had a piercing pain like my insides twisted that lasted only for a few minutes
6dp3dt- more cramping, sore breasts, still emotional, constipated, same piercing pain as yesterday morning when I moved too fast to get off of the couch
7dp3dt- sore breasts, cramping gone, still emotional
8dp3dt- sore breasts, less emotional
9dp3dt- no symptoms all day other than sore breasts, but I woke up in the middle of the night with HORRIBLE cramps that lasted for about a 1/2 an hour and then subsided
10dp3dt- no symptoms, breasts are less sore, but still a little sore
11dp3dt- Today: No real symptoms thus far, breasts do not appear to be sore at all anymore.
I have kept a positive outlook longer than normal, but my hope is beginning to fade. I keep praying, wishing that at least one of these wonderful embryos is strong enough to stand up to my “aggressive body”, as the doctor calls it.
Not knowing and not being able to do anything about it is making me miserable. I could probably use a home test now, but I have decided not to. Without doing it, I can hold out on hope a little longer.
My husband is being wonderful and understanding. We even booked a trip to Miami for after we get the results back. We are hoping it will be a trip to celebrate, but if the result is negative, at least we will have some time to escape and be with each other.
I can handle the physical impact of IVF: I am strong.
We can deal with the financial impact: It’s not easy, but we know it is the right way to spend our money.
The emotional impact is what is hard: A heart can only break so many times. But still I persist. We persist.
Waiting Impatiently, But Waiting,