Two Week Wait: Still Agonizing, Still Waiting

I consider myself a pretty positive person, usually with a smile on my face and willing to look on the bright side of things.  BUT this two week wait certainly challenges that outlook.  I have been wanting to write about my daily “symptoms”, but have been putting it off because they are so similar to my previous cycles that have all resulted in a negative outcome.

Here’s the breakdown:

4dp3dt- Nothing other than bloating and gas and sore breasts

5dp3dt- some cramping, sore breasts, night sweats, and EMOTIONAL;  I can’t stop crying, when getting out of bed in the morning I had a piercing pain like my insides twisted that lasted only for a few minutes

6dp3dt- more cramping, sore breasts, still emotional, constipated,  same piercing pain as yesterday morning when I moved too fast to get off of the couch

7dp3dt- sore breasts, cramping gone, still emotional

8dp3dt- sore breasts, less emotional

9dp3dt- no symptoms all day other than sore breasts, but I woke up in the middle of the night with HORRIBLE cramps that lasted for about a 1/2 an hour and then subsided

10dp3dt- no symptoms, breasts are less sore, but still a little sore

11dp3dt- Today:  No real symptoms thus far, breasts do not appear to be sore at all anymore.

I have kept a positive outlook longer than normal, but my hope is beginning to fade.  I keep praying, wishing that at least one of these wonderful embryos is strong enough to stand up to my “aggressive body”, as the doctor calls it.

Not knowing and not being able to do anything about it is making me miserable. I could probably use a home test now, but I have decided not to.  Without doing it, I can hold out on hope a little longer.

My husband is being wonderful and understanding.  We even booked a trip to Miami for  after we get the results back.  We are hoping it will be a trip to celebrate, but if the result is negative, at least we will have some time to escape and be with each other.

I can handle the physical impact of IVF:  I am strong.

We can deal with the financial impact: It’s not easy, but we know it is the right way to spend our money.

The emotional impact is what is hard:  A heart can only break so many times.  But still I persist.  We persist.

Waiting Impatiently, But Waiting,

-Carrie

 

 

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Two Week Wait: Still Agonizing, Still Waiting

  1. Hi! Fair question. Having been through this a few times, sometimes taking the home tests and sometimes waiting, I have realized that for me, the added heartache that a negative result brings before going in for my formal blood test isn’t worth it.

    If the home test comes back negative, I still have to go to the scheduled test. I still have to continue taking multiple shots each day. I still have to take medication that makes me feel crazy. And I still have to wonder whether or not just maybe the test was wrong. I then go through the sadness for days and then repeat the whole process when the negative result comes back formally.

    If the test were to come back positive (I’ve never had one, but would LOVE it), I would then want to take one every day. I would be worried that something would go wrong between now and the formal test. I would be elated, but still nervous.

    I know that each person handles their infertility journey differently, and for me, a 2 week wait means a FULL 2 weeks of waiting. Thanks for asking!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s